(REQUIRES BROWSER AUDIO SUPPORT)
Vocals: Darrin Robertson
Crown noise: Jennifer Catapano, Darrin Robertson,
and Jim Saccoman
Guitar: Darrin Robertson
Come gather around aristocrats, executives, and heirs
I've got an anecdote I'd like to share
Freshen your champagne and scotch on the rocks
I'm the valedictorian from the school of hard knocks
My first wife's in hell, my second's in Milan
The third is on Capri with some model named Juan
My fourth wife just left me she no longer cares
To hear of my extra-marital affairs
◊ chorus
Please hold all my calls
I'll be with my chums one and all
We're swimming in brandy and gin
Where the riff-raff can't get in
Hoist another one down at the club
(One, Two, Three...) is never enough
Tell my lawyer and broker I'm in a meeting
Give my mistress my love
I sold my yacht and mortgaged my estate
When the market tanked back in 2008
Converted my assets to Euros and Yen
The Dollar will come back, I just don't know when
I'm buried in negative earnings per share
Thank God I paid zero taxes last year
Inside trading's got me worried and blue
About what the FTC might want to do
◊ chorus
Excuse my demeanor I've had no coffee today
Those Occupy bastards were blocking the cafe
Forbes released the list of the wealthiest men
And I ain't been on it since 2010
Bernie's in jail and Trump's on TV
Steve Jobs is dead and I wish it were me
I have these troubles dancing around in my head
They keep me up at night on my magnetic floating bed
◊ chorus
If at this very moment things don't start to go right
They'll be cleaning my brains off the Renoir tonight
