Thriller
Gettin' Jiggy Wit It

Don't appear on television to proclaim your faith
Don't get tattoos on your face
Don't be a troll in every forum you're on
Don't dress up like the guy from Tron

Don't get naked and ride your bike
Don't stab yourself to death at an open mic
Don't do anything PETA says
Don't attract men by going lez

Don't try to be David Blaine
Don't join the ticket with John McCain
Don't make a sex tape as your claim to fame
Don't be Will Smith

Don't go postal or columbine
Don't scale the outside of the New York Times
Don't kill a prostitute and hide her in the bed
Don't shoot a congressman in the head

Don't have a melt down on live TV
Don't eBay your virginity
Don't walk into a pawn shop and cut off your head
Cover Lady Gaga on YouTube instead